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The wisdom of the Green Lantern.

October 30, 2011

I am a film geek and generally speaking I tend to agree with the better critics as to whether a film sucks or not. But apparently when  it comes to the recent super-hero movies I have failed dimally. Case in point: Thor and the Green Lantern. On rottentomatoes,a site I regularly consult and generally trust, Thor scored 77% fresh with critics while Green Lantern scored a paltry 27%. What? I would have expected it the other way round. Thor had practically nothing going for it!

I am prepared to ruin this film with overacting!

I readily admit I’m getting too old and bored by superhero movies. If there’s too much senseless action or unrealistic CGI I switch off. X-Men Origins was good (Fassbender! McAvoy!) as are the Nolan Batman movies but all the rest are pretty poor. Directors don’t give a hoot about dialogue, real romance or characterisation any more. I call it the Transformerization of the genre. Louder, stupider and younger = better! And don’t even get me started on the roles for women! Lame and lamer each and every one of them. At least in Thor Natalie Portman kinda looks like a scientist (or perhaps that’s me influenced by the fact she has an Ivy league degree, or her glasses). But Blake Lively a pilot? C’mon.That is a girl with zero charisma.

Now Margot Kidder. She was a female lead worthy of Christopher Reeve’s Superman! And Gene Hackman was a comic genius. Just what is it with giving superheroes and villians irritating sidekicks and frat-boy humour. Are we supposed to like them more this way? How I miss Christopher Reeve.

Basically I thought Green Lantern far surpassed the crappy Thor. No. 1: Like him and his little eyes or not, Ryan Reynolds has charm and Star Presence (like Keanu Reeves). Chris Hemsworth, none whatsoever. No.2: why are the baddies always the nerdy brother/schoolmate/envious best friend or scientist type with father issues. In real life the jock i.e. Hal Jordan is much more likely to end up evil, not the humble, quiet Hector Hammond, unlikely ever to leave his computer. In real life Hal would have bullied Hector.

And as for the X-Men: is it only me or is Magneto’s Mutant Consciousness so much more convincing than Xaviers obsession with humans? I mean they are mutants. Humans have been mean to them. Why does Xavier insist on sucking up to humans then or wanting to protect them? I find his betrayal of other mutant-kind disturbing to say the least.

I don’t know. I was obviously meant to be a baddie in the superhero universe, and of course I am not the demographic for these films.

I’m waiting to be underwhelmed by Joss Whedon’s Avengers. I love Whedon’s TV shows but Scarlett Johansson? Why isn’t Summer Glau in the Avengers, or another superhero flick? And Anne Hathaway as Catwoman? No!  I’d rather have a dozen 50-something Michelle Pfeiffers anyday.

Summer Glau is a superhero I can get behind. She may be pretty and slim but she has Geek Cred. She’s weird. She can play a terminator and pull it off. (Unless her casting would doom the film with the Summer Glau Curse!)

I say bring back the extraordinary superpeople. The classics are classic for a reason.

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